We had a little party in our back yard yesterday for a certain little one-year-old. Just family and a couple of close friends and their kids kept things really low-key and enjoyable.
We (and by 'we', I really mean Paddy-under-my-creative-direction ;) lovingly made a little rustic vanilla cake with buttercream frosting and adorned it with a little wreath that we quickly fashioned from a $5 bunch of wax flower. What I hadn't intended at the time was for it to double as a little flower crown afterwards. Love when genius ideas happen by accident!
“when i have said my evening prayer,
and my clothes are folded on my chair,
mama and papa switch off the light,
i'll still be 11 months old tonight.
but from the very break of day,
before the children rise and play,
before the darkness turns to gold,
tomorrow i'll be one years old…
one kiss when i wake,
one candle on my cake.
a goodnight kiss for the eleven month old
to send her to sleep and to dreaming.
and blessings to the one year old
who'll be carried from bed in the morning.”
I've seen this poem pop up on some of my favourite blogs and I really love the sentiment. I thought I'd borrow it, record it here as we turn the page on our beautiful Marguerite's first chapter.
One. It really is such an emotional milestone. I feel sadness as this first year comes to an end; as I kiss our baby goodnight. But I'm also eager to delve into a fresh page. As we welcome Spring, we welcome the next chapter of her story.
Goodnight little Maweetie. You are so very loved.
* Poem found on The Littlest and DASJ (from The Birthday Book)
Posted by one claire day at 22:56
A Marguerite on a marigold! (in the sweetest little une belle epoque dress and Poet's little bonnet)
Tomorrow will mark exactly one year since Marguerite's 'due date'. This time last year I was waiting eagerly for the arrival of -in addition to my second child - my best friend, Miriam, who was travelling up from Sydney for the birth. Little did we know that our little daisy had other plans. One frustrating week later, Miriam gave my ripe belly a final goodbye rub and boarded a plane back to Sydney. Four days after that I was induced and our sweet girl was born the next day.
Marguerite arrived almost two weeks late and now that I know her, it's plain to see that she was never going to be punctual; this girl is in no hurry. There's so much I want to share with you about this sweet baby and her funny ways, but I'll leave that for a birthday post in a couple of weeks time (and in the meantime I'll try not to get eaten up by the mother-guilt of not having documented her first year anywhere near as wholly and wonderfully as her sisters! I'm hoping this slew of photos makes up for it?!).
I'm really struggling to find the words to describe my experience this past year. Life has thrown her best and worst moments at me. The first six months of Marguerite's life were so perfect and as a mother I felt well in myself; confident, content, present. As the weeks went on, these positive feelings were suffocated by a thick fog that crept up and engulfed me... and although I never once felt disconnected from my girls (they really are my shining light) at times I felt I couldn't see, couldn't breathe; I had stumbled off my path and I couldn't find my way home.
I'm still somewhere in the fog, but as I come full circle on my first year as a mother of two, I am starting to notice the murky haze slowly dissipate, making way for the warm, welcoming glow of gratitude.
I went for weeks without missing this space. But now, suddenly, I feel I need to be here again in some capacity. I'm not sure how regularly I'll be posting, but I'm wanting to connect and share again. I also miss the documentation of the girls' growing up (suffering serious mother-guilt over the lack of photographs of our sweet second child!)
There's a lot of uncertainty in our life at the moment. Work for Paddy in town is drying up and there's a very real probability that he'll either have to work away for very long periods of time, or that we'll all move away together as a family for the next couple of years. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for the latter. Despite the overwhelming anxiety that grips me at the thought of uprooting and leaving the comforts of these four walls and our friends and family here, I am trying to embrace change and leap faithfully toward this new path. As long as the four of us are together, we'll be home.
Still, this is all easier said than done. I feel so completely stressed and overwhelmed. If anyone has been through a similar situation, I'd love to hear about your experience. Also, if I have any readers from (or familiar with) Darwin, NT or Gladstone, QLD, I'd love to hear what you have to say about the liveability of these towns. Thank you!
Posted by one claire day at 22:16