17.2.13

struggletown


Six weeks have passed since we welcomed 2013.

Paddy has been working away for over four of them. He's still currently away, as I enter my fifth week of solo parenting.

It's tough. On all of us.

His absence from both Lalie's 2nd birthday and my own 30th birthday was simply salt to the wound.

I realise that there are countless families in similar (and much more difficult) situations to ours, but I can't even muster the energy to put down in words how difficult this year has been for us so far. Of course, the financial rewards are bountiful... but the emotional cost is high. I can't help but feel as though, at the end of those long and grueling weeks of separation, we're coming away short-changed.

But, as they say, every cloud has a silver lining, and despite the enormous struggle... something truly wonderful is happening.

Sweet, precious rewards of the utmost kind are upon us.

55 comments :

  1. Gosh that is tough. But it sounds like your attitude will see you through. And it's lovely that you see the silver lining. That's all we need in difficult times... to see some light.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thinking of you... And looking forward to hearing about the wonderful things that are happening xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awww, it is ALL about those sweet, precious rewards Claire. It has to be. Sorry to hear things have been so rough though, being apart is never easy on a family. Beautiful, thoughtful image of you and your gal xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Beautiful and thoughtful words. I hope you are all together soon. Love j x

    ReplyDelete
  5. I had noticed you have been absent lately and now it is all coming together. Life apart doesn't really seem like life at all sometimes. :( my hearts hurts for you both. My husband just left this morning for a four day trip- watching him kiss river goodbye was definitely the most difficult part. I recall you writing about something similar a previous time paddy had been away and how you ache for he and Eulalie as they miss each other, I understand now.

    As for the silver lining...I thought maybe the reason you were so quiet was number two is on the way?! Either way I am excited to hear more, and looking forward to more NYC posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought that too (baby number two) Jaclyn :) I look forward to more NYC posts soon too - when you feel up to it. Take care Claire xx

      Delete
  6. You two look so sad in that picture. Hooray for silver linings. Big hugs, thinking of you. Belinda x

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Claire, I wish I knew before this how you were feeling, I feel I should have been there for you, with some support. I hope you are together very soon, life apart is so very very hard for all involved. Sending you love and hugs over the oceans. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  8. It is really hard, i can't imagine how.
    I wish tou you many and many silver linings!! xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. So hard. Sending a hug and some love your way. x, Katie

    ReplyDelete
  10. oh claire, I can feel how heavy your heart is. I've just come off a week of solo parenting and I couldn't imagine adding another four onto the end.. big hugs for you and lalie, I hope those sweet, precious rewards will come thick and fast xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. That stunning image says it all. Solo parenting is so very tough, and even harder when special events are on and you are not all together. Big hugs to you and Lalie, and I can't wait to hear more about the precious rewards! ;-) xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh my goodness, solo parenting is hard. I really have no idea how single parents cope. I take my hat off to them. My husband is about to go on a business trip for 3 days and I'm dreading it - I can't imagine how you've coped for over 4 weeks! Big hugs!

    Col x

    ReplyDelete
  13. Poor love - I know your pain. When I was 7 months pregnant and working 4 days a week Rob was working on a TV show and was away for about 8 weks. It was the PITS. While he was still coming home very late and leaving very early he wasn't there at all and it was the hardest time I can ever remember having. Throw in a 2 year old who missed her Dad and it was MISERABLE. Dig deep, it will all be a distant (very bad) memory soon. Promise x

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sorry to hear you 2 are sad! Maybe it helps to read that we have misses you here on the other side of the world!! gr Patries

    ReplyDelete
  15. the solo gig...I get it...the days and nights are sooo long. my honey is home in another week ( 3 away ). I m trying to take a day at a time. chin up love...hooray for your blessings x

    ReplyDelete
  16. Even if others are doing it harder it doesn't make your pain any less real or valid.
    I can't imagine doing it on my own for weeks at a time (and I've been a single parent before)it's so exhausting.
    I hope you have a replacement birthday for both you and Lalie to help make up for missing out.
    Looking forward to hearing more about your wonderful rewards.

    ReplyDelete
  17. My husband has a job that takes him away from home often and with little to no notice much of the time. It sucks and it's hard. I cant imagine how hard it must be with a little one. Hang in there x

    ReplyDelete
  18. That sucks Claire. My husband is a firefighter and we've hardly seen him for weeks either. Enjoy the wonderful though :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. That photo is beautifully descriptive too.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I have learned the hard way that it is almost always a toss up between financial reward and time...and it is so hard to find the right balance.
    I know how long the days can seem when you are on your own.
    Hang in there!
    I hope that you find yourself all together and blissfully happy soon!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Beautifully written Claire, your words really struck a cord with me. 4 weeks was my longest (in the mad rush before Christmas 2012), while I struggled to work full time and parent an over excited 2 year old at the same time, with more time apart scheduled for this year. Defiantly felt short changed despite the financial gain. I was thinking about this social situation just yesterday. It would make for an interesting study on our kids.... as it seems so normal now for families to be separated for work reasons (especially with the mining boom up here in FNQ). It feels so 1950's to me. Hang in there, be kind to yourself, put your feet up. Endless cuddles helps to soothe the pain and pass the time. I hope he's home soon.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I feel for you Claire. My husband has two jobs at the moment and it's emotionally exhausting. I should be grateful because he's providing for our family but, his absence from the home can be unbearable at times. I have to remind myself that this too shall pass...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Your pregnant! X

    ReplyDelete
  24. I can completely relate. My husband would travel a whole lot before we started our own business together late last year. You're right, even though the financial gain is significant you do question the cost emotionally, it's hard on everyone, especially them being away from the everyday goings on. Now we have this business, and I know it'll be a great lifestyle for us all eventually, but these early days take so much of our time and energy and it's hard to strike a balance. There certainly is a silver lining and I've no doubt the struggle will be worth it for us and for you. Take time to just be, and nurture yourself a little too..x

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hang in there gorgeous lady. Silver linings are sweet as can be! Kellie xx

    ReplyDelete
  26. PS Did I miss your birthday?????? Happy 30 lady. You may not have had Paddy, but you have youth, good looks, an adorable Lalie and one the best aesthetic eyes going around. That is something to celebrate!

    ReplyDelete
  27. It is tough. My husband works away a lot too. We've also got a toddler and another on the way next month. I feel your pain!
    Hope he's back in your arms super soon
    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  28. Happy 30th Claire! If it means anything, we have missed you here on this blog of yours--your gorgeous photos and lovely words. A weekend of solo parenting is tough for me, so I can only imagine four weeks! Hang in there. This too shall pass. Looking forward to reading about the exciting things on the horizon for you all.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Do lots of solo parenting here and its not a lot of fun. The kids are nearly 6 and 8 and miss their Dad terribly when hes away. Its not a predictable roster so its hard for them to get used to away and home time. Really try and keep busy and be both Mum and Dad as best I can when hes away but he has big shoes to fill. And I run v low on energy when hes away for any length of time. Crave his company and assistance and also crave a break/solitude/time away from house and kids. try and focus on when he IS home (as then he is home all day which is nice). Helps to be organised ie even the basics like enough groceries so don't have to take kids out at night, or a DVD to watch so when nothing on TV have something to watch ( I really feel stuck at home at night once the kids are in bed you cant go anywhere!!!). And yes it is hard when special occasions are missed. We try and move days but it still is hard. So I feel for you. It sounds like there some good things on the horizon. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh no :( IMHO, what matters most by the end of the day is the well-being of your family, even more so than career or finances :) Hope you guys don't have to spend too many moons apart in the future :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. That's so tough, Claire. Happy birthdays to you and Eulalie. At least this way you'll get to celebrate all over again when Paddy is home... I know that doesn't help. I'll stop talking now. x

    ReplyDelete
  32. we are in the same boat here. the expression on your face in that photo is how i feel every moment we are apart and it has been all too often this past year. just when i think we will get a break and have Al home for a bit another job comes up. its tough, it really is, i feel your pain because it is my pain too. we have to take the work while we can and i in turn do feel grateful for the good money coming in that lets me enjoy life as a stay at home mum but sometimes it just gets you down. its lonely and i worry how it will impact our little one but for us there is no end in sight for the way we live, so i just try to carry on the best i can. big hugs to you claire and happy birthday to you and lalie x

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh Claire I am so sorry you've had a tough few weeks. I hope you're ok? Happy belated birthday beautiful. Big hugs. xo

    ReplyDelete
  34. be gentle on yourself and hold your little eulalie tight x

    ReplyDelete
  35. Such beautiful words. I know how hard it is, only, we don't yet have kids. But someday, despite my husbands traveling schedule, I still want kids to keep me company because I think you are right about the "precious rewards."

    ReplyDelete
  36. Go easy lovely Claire. You are doing remarkable things with your poppet! You can see the light at the end...that's the main thing :) x

    ReplyDelete
  37. My heart goes out to you.

    xo
    cortnie

    ReplyDelete
  38. I had wanted to send you an email as you'd been away so long but didn't like to intrude. I"m sorry, as they were two such significant events. Happy birthday Lalie and happy 30th lovely lady.

    Financial security is important, we all know that, but time together as a family, living each day to its fullest, is so precious too. Getting that balance right isn't always easy but I have every confidence you'll get there.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Oh lovely ones, so sorry that the year has been so hard and so lonely. Wishing those last few weeks away, until you can all be together again. Solo parenting is hard and is relentless. Thanks for sharing. xx

    ReplyDelete
  40. I hate it if Tim is home an hour late or he goes on school camp for 1 night! I honestly can't imagine what weeks on end would be like. I don't think I could do it. I hope things change and soon. xo

    ReplyDelete
  41. Thinking of you Claire...
    Ronnie xo

    ReplyDelete
  42. Oh it is tough and no one could deny that you poor love. Mothering is tough then do it on your own and double tough!
    Sending you love and strength...xxx

    ReplyDelete
  43. Thinking of you Claire and looking forward to hearing your upcoming happy news : )

    And a big, fat (belated) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Welcome to the thirties ; )

    ReplyDelete
  44. Oh, wow... I can not imagine. My heart goes out to you! <3

    ReplyDelete
  45. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  46. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  47. i so hear you. i haven't been solo parenting but this year has been tough so far. i do understand how raw it must feel to be apart on these important days. hope your fifth week manages to be filled with lightness and a giant step towards being together again. we've missed you around these parts :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  48. In my entire parenting life I've spent just two weeks solo and they were truly so difficult. I can only imagine how challenging (and lonely!) it must be for you and Lalie without Paddy for such a long period of time.

    Wishing you a happy 30th, and Lalie a happy 2nd Birthday.

    Can't wait to hear your lovely news.

    x Laura

    ReplyDelete
  49. happy birthdays and much love x

    ReplyDelete
  50. I'm so sorry. I really feel you, so far 2013 has been a total bitch. Let's hope it's just getting all of its shit out of its system it the first couple of months.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Why are you having another one if this is already so tough? Head in the sand?

    ReplyDelete
  52. was in the same boat as u till nov 2012 when i second bub was born.. my hubby to b missed our daughters 2 nd bday my 27th bday mothers day fathers day and made it home 3 weeks before bub was born. its very tough trying to do it solo for both mum n babies... but us mums pull through it in the end.. but in the end we decided family first we have the main things we need in life to get bye some days r a struggle but u are reminded when you hear your daughter jumping for joy because daddy isnt sleeping at work anymore or hear that happiness in her voice when she hears a plane fly over and says 'thats daddys old plane he not go on there no more'... it all comes down to doing what you can at that point in time and knowing no matter the distance or little time u have together you are a family and love one another dearly

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment - it really means so much. I will try to reply where I can! xx